As a special treat, I took Mahalia to get her first mani/pedi. Her feet were washed and moisturized. She chose orange essential oils to be added to the treatment and selected the loveliest shades of purple and hot pink to be painted in a pattern on her fingers and toes. I watched her move around the salon with an amazing amount of confidence, grace and ease and my heart swelled when I heard her say, "I'm not comfortable. The chair keeps scooting back." I congratulated her on her ability to say how she was feeling, adding that many grown ups don't feel confident enough to say when they're uncomfortable. She added, "i wasn't even scared when I was far away from you in the salon."

I realize here while I write that she is growing into a self assured little person. It makes sense, too, why she's all of a sudden having tantrums and crying uncontrollably when things do not unfold exactly as she has them planned. Being independent is wonderful and exhilarating and scary as hell.

Her friends are turning four and she has said more than once, "I think I will recognize so and so when he turns 4." Followed by, "I wonder what I'll be like when I'm 4."

The other night I had a dream that she and I were walking along a path and I had a distinct feeling I'd been there before. In a waking state though I can't recall ever being there. We're walking along and come to this bridge that is wide enough for only one of us. I was trying to convince her to cross the bridge by herself, silently knowing that I was too scared once to cross that bridge alone. I can't remember what happened next. I'm sure I'll see it again soon. I walk around stewing about this dream and thinking that parenting is so hard. It's wonderful and exhilarating and scary as hell and at most moments I really wonder if I'm saying the right things or making the right decisions. Only time will tell, I suppose. In the meantime, Mahalia continues being hilairous and sweet and challenging and smart and delicious.

Mahalia wrote a Valentine's book for Shane entitled, Mahalia's Book Of Love.

Daddy, I'm writing a book for you and you have to discover what it's about and tell me what you like about it.

This book is special and it's only for you. You have to make sure Dezi doesn't get it. It's paper.

While you're gone, I'm saving it for you.

Daddy I know what this is about. I love little Dezi booty.

Daddy I found things that work and I know where you were but what are you doing and why did you have to go for so long?

The people in this town you know are happy. They make new games and make it more fun.

I know about you Daddy. I'm making the words come true.

Love, Mahalia

INTERVIEW #1

Kali: What's your favorite thing to do?

Mahalia: Read Peter Pan

Kali: Why?

Mahalia: Because it's special.

Kali: What's so special about it?

Mahalia; Well, I really like the pages and the noise when they get flipped. Like this...(mahalia flips the page and shows me how it sounds.)

Kali: What else do you like to do besides read Peter Pan

Mahalia: I like to, um, eat lunch at school.

GO, May May, GO!!!!!

She got a scooter for her 3rd birthday and has surprised us with her ability to zoom around the neighborhood.

As my friend Hale says, this is a possible over-blogging situation. I can't help myself.

Also, do you have that thing when you hear your voice on a video and you're like, "oh, god. that's what i sound like?" anyhow, that happens in this video. i beat you to it.

While we're at it....

Another oldie but goodie.

The traffic in certain parts of Brooklyn could make a grown man cry. I zoomed in and out of traffic in the bug honking the horn and muttering under my breath. We pulled up to a red light and I growled, exasperated. Mahalia waited a moment and said, "you just need to be patient, mom." I said, "You're right. How'd you get so smart?"

I was looking through some old photos and videos and found this one from just over a year ago. Seriously, where does the time go?

Mahalia continues to be a wonderful and amazing big sister. She coos and strokes Dezi when he cries and says lovingly, "It's okay, little one."

She got some new hot pink, or, as she says, pink hot sandals. She wanted to wear them to school today over her peach socks and said to me as I put them on, "this is going to be so amazing."

She dictated a Mother's Day Card to her teachers and this is what is says:

I love mommy because she helps me with my big puzzles. She does everything. Mommy brushes my hair. She says I have to go to school. Mommy buys me pretty dresses and she puts barrettes in my hair. She says stop picking my nose. Mommy cooks eggs for me.

Love, Mahalia